Remembering

I have been fairly vocal about the theft of my tablet. Everyday I realize more and more how much information and work I had on it.

I believe I may have finally finished changing all the appropriate passwords... One can hope anyway.

In an effort to ease my sorrow, and immense anger!, I have been watching movies. Needless to say when one of my avsolute childhood favorites came on, I couldn't resist.

As I watch Legend, for the firat time in many, many years, I feel like no time has passed sinced the last time I was swept away by its story.

There are times, like now, when I wonder why my mother was so surprised at the woman I became. She fought so hard against me being Goth-y, but it truly is who I am. How many girls do you know who wanted to be the princess dressed all in black with Darkness swearing he would do her bidding? (Of course I didn't want the unicorns killed either, though)... I also wanted to be like Morticia and Wednesday Addams.

I like my Goth-y side. And maybe in the next few days I will take the time to embrace it and see if that helps. Because right now something has to give...

Crazy day

It is the last day of school for my class. As of 3:30 est we have graduated--or if anyone needs to make up any hours when they finish that. As you imagine, people are acting a bit silly.

Me, I am sitting off to the side while others work on their final practical (skills assessment) and waiting my turn.

But what does that have to do with this blog?

Well as I said on Facebook a few days ago, I have a character blossoming in my head. I know I need to work on full length novels that people have patiently been waiting for... but having ideas for short stories is also awesome so I can at least keep things coming out. And, truth be told, I am not certain if she will be a full-length or recurring chatacter.

I also have an idea of a direction I may take Leigh, but I have to think about this a bit.

As I began writing, I realized I have so much more I want to say...but I will leave the unveiling of that information for tomorrow's email update...then I will speak more about it here and/or on Facebook.

The countdown clock has begun for me...and I can't wait. I have worked long and hard, and this is another step closer to my goals.

Blah kind of day

My morning started off like those bad jokes about country songs...
I overslept slightly
couldn't find my Disturbed hat to cover my bed-head that just didn't want to work with me
My eyes were itchy...
blah blah blah.
It seemed like one piece of bad news after another.

But I am trying to turn my day around. I slightly rearranged my living room which always gives the room a shiny new look...and I only have 17 more days of school.

I have files available to me at school thanks to my jump drive, so if I get some free time, I can work on that.

And of course I got to watch some movies from my childhood last night.

Its still a blah kind of day, but I think I can turn it around...

Blah morning

Well, today has started out very blah. I really didn't want to get out of bed. In my mind all I can do is think about how much I am ready to be done with school, you know, when the to-do list isn't on an endless loop inside my head. And one of the side zippers on the purse (that I so very adore) that my best friend gave me (I think because I have been doing so well in school) broke. I didn't realize how much I used that pocket until the zipper went haywire. It's totally fixable...well, for someone who knows how to fix a zipper. I am not that good with getting a zipper back on "track" though, so it is still gaping open.

I have a little bit of a headache (yes, I know I am kvetching a lot), which honestly after the day and night I had last night does not surprise me! The highlight of my day (hold on, this isn't complaining, lol) was that I announced Leigh volume 1 should be going to print soon! I did the galley check for that (making sure there were no mistakes) and that it was formatted the way I wanted it done...That was awesome. I am so very incredibly excited about that. Now I just have to work on the next Leigh as well, (and the other dozen or so books I have been supposed to work on for a while now).

At the end of the day, I am not sure which is better...to be so busy that you just don't know where to start with all the things that you need to do...or to have so little to do that you just sit around doing nothing. Is there a happy medium in there somewhere, and will I ever find it? lol. I know this blog post has been all over the place this morning, but that's kindof where my head is at right now. I'm trying to revisit everything I have learned over the last eight months, while remaining so very active in my daughter's girl group (to show my support), remember stuff I had to memorize for a group I belong to for an event coming up this weekend, stressing out about a pretty major test that I have to take to become certified to do what I am in school for...and of course, it doesn't help when there are four people in my head screaming at me that I need to pay attention to them and write. I guess not making a long story all that short, my head is a very, very busy place to be right now.

Maybe I should revisit that whole "taking time away from my day and the world every single day to meditate and clear my head" plan that I go back to every so often...

Lots of work

Wow...you know, you never really realize just how out of control your email inbox has become until you have to go through it to find something.
Sadly, I have spent the last hour organizing my emails (Author and personal) thanks to the new google mail set-up. Seriously, it wasn't broken, why fix it?!?!
I got a lot of work done the last few days and even got some writing done! I found the coveted Club Strigoi guideline that I wrote a very long time ago when I first came up with the idea of the series and I found the "wow, thank God I found this!" timeline. As some of you know, the Club Strigoi books are really interwoven, so this makes my life a lot easier. Especially since I'm kindof bouncing around on ideas for several of them now. They are the ones taking a sledge hammer into my brain.
The question is...do I add the shots stories to the the timeline? Hmmmm...this must be considered.
Over the last two days, I've basically drank two pots of coffee myself (this from a person who does not drink coffee regularly, I prefer a good cuppa tea ;) Like Earl Grey) and I'm not sure if this babbling is normal or some freaky side effect cause I haven't had caffine...
Maybe I should go get a cup of soothing tea before my class starts...the last thing I need is people (who don't live inside my head) trying to tie me up because I'm all over the place and not working on what I should be working on.

chained...

I need to become chained to my schedule book again. I started using it, mapping out every little detail of my life, then BAM! just when everything was running smoothly I decided one day I didn't need to actually look at it for the day...then it became buried in my purse....then its a very slippery slope. And its not just a matter of me wanting to get more organized... I *need* to!
I am a have it all kind of girl, I admit it. So, I want to be able to be in school and get good grades, and I want to write and promote myself, and have time for my family, and begin both studying for my huge certification test and looking for a day job... I want it all! But I admit that the only way for me to do that is to strictly adhere to a schedule... (which between you and me goes very much against who I am inside...) But some sacrifices must be made to have it all.
If that means I have write in every few days that I have to post on my blog, or what have you, then so be it! At least I have a schedule book that I like...now to make referring to it second nature....

Long time

Wow, I almost can't believe its been so long since I posted!

Leigh Season Two has begun... I have wonderful ideas for where she is going and potentially a new plot in my Club Strigoi series...

I am almost done wih this round of school (September) and am preparing to take a certificatiin test so I have been spending a lot of time studying and I am about to start reviewing things. I really want to pass that test the first time, lol.

I also have someone currently working on redesigning my website. I know, I have been horribly fickle with that...but once I get THE design, I will stop. And this time its being handled by a professional, so I am keeping my fingers crossed!

I have actually begun to keep a day planner and have been good about scheduling with it, so now I need to start adding in more author-related time--something I am sure will come a little easier once I am not in school for 30 hrs a week and studying at least another 20-30 hrs a week..

A Contest!!

To celebrate my bff's bday...a contest. (since I haven't embarrassed her enough yet...mwahahaha)
To enter: Wish her a happy birthday in the comments section of my facebook page (The one with the Club Strigoi Shots cover as a profile picture) before midnight EST.
Prize: Your choice of a PDF of any of the books I have written.
All eligible names will be put in a hat and one aelected at random tomorrow.
Let the games begin! ;)

--
Sandy Lynn
http://ClubStrigoi.com/
(872) 216-3767 (voicemail)

Dragging

I had a rather rough night last night and even now as I enjoy public transportation, I find my eyes attempting to droop even as I struggle to catch my breath. (going uphill wile rolling a suitcase filled with textbooks at a fast pace in the rain did not like me much)
Even now its like my foggy brain is clammering for its morning dose of Earl Grey Tea.
I am not sure if it was the rainy day or the rough night but its definitely feeling like a dreary morning to me today.

Excerpt: Night's Promise (Club Strigoi Book 3)

Again he traveled to the side of her neck, nipping her flesh. As his teeth slid over the sensitive spot just above her shoulder, she wondered if he would drink from her.
Did she care?
Hell no. Not as long as he kept rubbing her the way he was.
Duncan thrust into her jean-covered sex. Her pants and his boxers preventing anything from going too far, but the sensation of him rubbing his hard cock so intimately against her had her quickly moaning.
"Angel," he murmured next to her shoulder before once again taking her nipple into his mouth, tugging it with his teeth as he rolled the other between his thumb and forefinger. His knee pressed between her legs again when he lifted slightly, straddling her leg. Her hips arched forcefully and Melissa forgot how to breathe as she felt her entire body tensing.

Want to check out more? You can find it at http://store.samhainpublishing.com/kiss-tell-p-1515.html

Technology

For some reason, technology has elluded me this morning. I almost feel like crying out "A Scanner! A Scanner! My Kingdom for a Scanner!" But, I like having my kingdom, so I will just keep looking or if push comes to shove, I will go to my Sister's later today. 

I'm looking around the internet (I know I'm supposed to be actually posting an excerpt today, but I think I'm going to have to push that to later today to possibly tomorrow.

Today I have my Earl Grey Tea on the desk beside me, and as soon as I finish my phone conversation, I'm totally popping on my headphones and listening to more gutteral primal screaming in my ear.

Class is about to start so, I should probably go.

Metal Morning

This morning I woke up with the need to listen to Disturbed. Pandora is only mildly cooperating with me. But it did give me a chance to listen to two of my favorite songs.
I do have to wonder why if I ask to listen to Disturbed, it keeps giving me songs by other bands. Of course I could always just pull up Disturbed on my iPod, but I'm trying to let that get a little of a charge before class starts.
I have my new appointment book open in front of me and am filling out all the times I need for school and events that I already know are on my calendar, so that I can go through and fill in blocks of writing time (I think I will also try to keep track of how much I write on that same schedule.
I am still very much in the mood to listen to some adrenalin pumping metal, but I have to try to get ready to settle into sitting down for school. But I am very pumped and ready to start my day!
(Now, the question is, is that because of the Metal or the Earl Grey Tea?)

Today

When I woke up this morning, I felt more like I'd been the rope in a tug of war fight than a dreamer last night.
Despite that, I have been going through files and printouts and still find myself working hard to stay organized and keep on top of things. I never really thought I was a truly organized person, but I have to say, I really am.
That being said, unfortunately there are still tons of things for me to do, but hopefully after this next test at school, things will slow down just a bit and I can build up the momentum to get more done...
Including some of what I'm learning in school and adding it into books...

Catching up

I didn't post yesterday (bad girl) because things got really complicated, really quick. My daughter needed most of my attention, and I gave it to her.
Today is the only day I have to do several things that I need to do (including some housework). At the moment I have my doggy laying on me, but that will have to change in a few minutes.
There is so much work to do, and I plan to use today as my "getting organized" day, gathering up this weeks excerpts, creating my daily word count sheets, and potentially starting a much harder core schedule, and updating the family calendar.
Whew.
Well, there's no time like the present to get started...and the sooner I start the more chance I will have to actually get to writing today as well.

Getting Organized

I find myself listening to the very excites whispers of one of my characters. I can't wait to work on her story today.
I have also been thinking about resuming a word count goal, not as high as the one I had when I was not a student, but resuming it none the less.
For the most part I have begun to follow a schedule (though of course there are days that I feel as though I deviated from that schedule too much).
The first thing I need to do, is list out my goals. Then I can better decide on what would be a realistic goal for myself every day. The thought of being able to fit so much into one day seemed impossible not that long ago. But as I followed the advice of a motivational speaker (actually followed it not just half-hearted "trying"), and saying to myself I can do this, well look how far I have already come.
Now if I don't post on my blog until later, my day feels 'off' until I do!

eep I say...

Something completely unheard of has happened for me. I am without my cell phone. I messed up and left it in a neighbor's car. Now on the bright side, I know I will get it back. On the down side, it seems like now that's all I can think about.
I can go long periods without checking my phone with no problems. But now that I don't have it right here with me, I feel like I'm missing something. Like I'm naked...
It's sad, I know this too. Hi. I'm Sandy, and I'm addicted to my cell phones (and other tech toys like my ipod and my nook....)
I'm trying to be brave about this...but I find myself just wanting to ball into a corner and sobbing slightly.
For now I have no choice but to muddle through this the best way I can. And hope that my day starts to get better.

excerpt: Phoenix (a Club Strigoi shot)

The setup: Lisa flirts with the bouncer

Was it her imagination, or was she leaning closer to Rick? "I should probably get back to my friends," she told him without making any attempt to move.
"Would you like me to help you? Or to stop you?"
"I'm going. I'm just lingering a little. It's been entirely too long since I had a handsome bouncer become putty in my hand," she said attempting to play off her procrastination.
"I'm flattered," Rick told her. He reached for her, but a hand stopped him.
When Lisa was able to look over, she saw her favorite redheaded bouncer. "Bram," she said, hearing the smile in her own voice.
"Go cover the door," he told Rick.
"We were just talking," the bouncer argued.
Lisa shook her head. That was never a good move. Never argue with Bram. Even in her fuzzy state, she knew he was the law of the club.
Whatever Bram said next was too low for her to hear over the loud music and crowd around them. But it did have Rick releasing her and practically running to cover the door.
"You spoiled my fun," she pouted when the other man was gone.
"We missed you."

want to read more? check out my other online hangouts or go to http://mojocastle.com/StrigoiShotsPhoenix.html

excited

Today I feel an air of excitement.  Which partially doesn't make sense because I've definitely had some "Leigh-esque" Murphy's law bad luck. But I am excited. I'm sitting in class waiting for everything to begin and getting my thoughts together. I've already had time to begin organizing things and get  a few things ready. I'll even have time to go print off and xerox a couple of things as soon as I post this.
I wrote a few pages yesterday and the feeling was ... I can't describe it. And even better, the stories I worked on...are still trying to flow. So, while it mildly sucks that I have class instead of being able to write all day, I'm very happy and sure in the feeling that maybe I will be able to actually use my lunch break to write, or maybe type out a bit during my smaller breaks throughout the day.
I'm very excited, and while I don't think I can pinpoint exactly what is driving it at this moment, I do know that the writing I did yesterday most assuredly helped! And that I want to keep it going!

Plans

It is a very rainy Monday here. I have Lexx season 2 playing on the television. I woke up earlier than I expected to, and now have a ton of time that I can use.
Maybe I will go out today, stopping at a place for a snack and to get a comic book then spend time writing...
I have also considered starting my work on the next chapter of my textbook to allow myself a little "wiggle room".
Either way I woke up convinced that today will be productive.

Lazy day

I finished all my homework and got a few pages written on a story. But overall, I find I have next to no desire to get up and do anything.
One story that I started is coming along fairly steadily, though it is also encouraging thought about another story idea-a story I only work on from time to time.
I'm waiting for another story to wiggle out the snags so I can continue on that series, and had been hoping to get a holiday story done, but that doesn't seem to be cooperating.
Then there's the really naughty story I have that I find myself tempted to work on.
All these thoughts flowing through my head, you'd think my fingers would be flying over a keyboard. Instead, I sit here thinking how much I'd love some chocolate...and that I wish someone else would go get it for me...

Too much snow!

School has been cancelled again due to snow.
Have I mentioned I don't like the snow?
The only bright side is that I have a little more time to get my work done.
Part of me feels a little guilty for just laying in the bed a few extra hours and watching television. But I know I will get to work soon (both school work and writing), and I will do various work throughout the bulk of the day.
I'm also considering my future and what more I can do with promotions. I think I like putting up the excerpts here, on my yahoo loop and on my facebook page... I love revisiting stories I haven't thought about in a while and remembering why I was so excited about it. Sometimes I even get a warm feeling because I enjoy what I read and remind myself that *I* wrote that.
It's a wonderful feeling. It reminds me why I should make as much time as possible writing. Its little things like that which can make all the difference in the world.

Cold

As the days go by I find myself bundling up more and more. Today I added a shawl being used as a scarf, and even after just a brief time, I believe I have become a convert! (I used to just not really see the point-but to be fair I also had a car...)
I have not been gettinf as much studying or as much writing done as I would've like. I can admit that to a point my current assignments are kicking my butt, but I will not let them defeat me.
I am getting into the habit of writing more, and utilizing tools that allow me to best use my commute time. Of course on saturdays the entire plan changes. :(
I'm also working on projects with school that I hope will unlock my muse from her bindings. Things that I had discounted before, but am starting to see can make a difference if you let them.

Excerpt - Chameleon (A Club Strigoi Shot)

The Setup: Lexy dances with a stranger...

When they were on the dance floor, he began to move with her. His movements were modest enough at first, but always pressing for more. They held an undertone she could feel, that she began to crave. She watched him as they danced, her eyes lingering on his mouth. There wasn't even a hint of any facial hair. she wondered if his skin would feel soft against hers, what his lips would feel like pressed against her body. If he would...could make her scream out in pleasure and beg for more.
He smiled at her as though he could read her thoughts. The next time he reached for her, his hand brushed against the side of her breast. The slight touch felt incredibly wicked and delightful. She wanted more and tried to lean into the caress.
But he darted back. His touching became a game. He would brush against her intimately, then withdraw before she could pull him closer or keep his hand pressed against her longer. Her body was on fire. Urges she hadn't felt for far too long consumed her

http://mojocastle.com/StrigoiShots.html

Public transport

About the best thing I can say for public transportation in my city is that it allows me to work on things during the commute.
The buses follow a schedule, but sometimes it seems to be more of a suggestion.
I guess the people watching is pretty cool too. Sitting in a seat just paying attention as people do their own thing.
Then theres the down side. People use the bus as a trash can without regard for others. I may not always have kept my car clean, but it was still a personal choice!
And some woman just giggled as she took my picture. I heard her say she was posting it on facebook. I don't think she knows who I am. Shes simply being juvenille about my hair. I openly rolled my eyes.
One of my best friends gave a suggestion for how I should respond to things like that. I like her idea. (You may see it in a book...)
Right now I am on my way to school. My class's first exam is today and I feel pretty prepared. But I will still study.

Busy, busy

Another school week begins and I am excited. I'm doing better than I'd anticipated and I just really love being back in school.
The purple dye seems to be very determined to stick around in a few sections of my hair. I have mixed feelings about that, but I can also admit I really did/do like the purple.
My husband is going through an especially stressful day today. I hope all is well when I get home.
Stories are once again swirling through my mind. I am so incredibly excited about this.

Torn

I am torn. I know I should be studying, but I have been typing away at my keyboard, working on a story. I have been laughing as I work and feel fabulous.
Even now as I type this my thoughts drift back to my story and I want to neglect posting so I can write. And while I am very grateful for that, I also know that I need to find a balance. I have a test on Wednesday, so I really do need to study. I also want to get a little ahead in a few assignments so when we get to the next few chapters, I will have more time to actually devote to the stuff I have to work harder on.
I don't quite have a perfect routine down, but its definitely starting to come together. I can envision my future, with writing a secure part of it. And all of this helps add together to make me happy.

Leisurely

Class was small today, only two of us showed up. So, tangented much more than I would have academically liked, but it was fun. We even had almost an hour long conversation about books and characters today.
We discussed some new stuff and reviewed some. Shortly I will be going to help chaperone a dance for my daughter.
I got a massage today, but, although real, it was more letting a student get more hands on with their approach. I am relaxed, but not as completely as I had hoped. Which could simply mean I really am that incredibly stressed/tense. (Even the Massage Therapist commented on how tense my muscles were.) But I do feel pretty good. I get another massage next week.
I am already trying to come up with how to twist this into a story line and figure out which story it works best with.

Snow day

I really don't like the snow. Especially when it keeps me from doing the things I need to do, like go to school.
But I am going to use the time to catch up on some housework, study, and writing.
I had to take a break because I found myself getting increasingly upset by the things going on around me. Its not been the most pleasant of days and to be honest, I'm not really sure what to say.

Rushing

I'm not sure if its the rain or that I got a fair amount of sleep last night or my own paranoia, but I am feeling very rushed this morning.
Its been over a week since I listened to the soundtrack to Once More With Feeling, and I still have those songs inside my head!
I am all over the place this morning and as I grow mire comfortable in my routine, I am enjoying the time I have before class to get writing done. Right now I'm not getting very much done, but I only began my routine a few days ago (this will be the third day) but it's already becoming smoother.
Much like with my writing, I find my emotions are all jumbled up with this class. I want to do well and give it my "all" which also scares me a bit. But its a good sign.

An Excerpt

Just a small taste of one of my older works. Hope you enjoy it!

Kitten tilted her head to the side slightly and, scrunching her eyes in confusion, asked, "You don't want me to continue?"
"No, I really do. I just wanted you to know you didn't have to." His mouth watered as his gaze roamed over her lithe form.
"Okay." Stepping closer to the chair, she placed one leg on either side of him and kept swaying to the beat. Lifting her knee until it rested on the thick cushion, Kitten repeated the procedure until she was a few short inches from straddling his lap.
His eyes glued on the plump flesh so close to his face, he fought the desire to bury his face between her breasts as her hips stroked him. She continued moving, unaware of his internal struggle, lowering herself until she rode his jean covered erection as though they were actually fucking. Keith groaned. God, she was driving him crazy.
Without stopping to think about what he was about to do, his hands cupped her face and pulled her closer for a kiss.

--Eye Candy from Samhain Publishing.

First day

Today was my first day of school. I am studying Theraputic Massage. I've always had an interest in massage, but never pursued it. Now, I am.
Getting my textbooks was not what I imagined it would be, I got so many! It was a good thing one of my really good friends gave me a suitcase that I could roll, otherwise I'm not sure would've been able to carry all those books!!! Heck, I couldn't even fit everything in the suitcase!
Tonights homework was really easy, just reading one chapter and fill out two worksheets. And glance through our other textbooks. And a call to financial aid let me know everything was fine-they had all the paperwork they needed.
I still need to pack my bookbag for tomorrow, and get organized. I'm also hoping to be able to start a pattern for my day, incorporating posting and writing along with my schoolwork. Maybe during breaks and lunch?
I am very hopeful and can imagine a future where the two paths can xcompliment each other well. Until then, I think its time to practice my juggling skills.

Furious

I am so mad. My SO took a beloved and favorite stuffed animal of mine to "visit" with a friend of his in the hospital.
As I predicted, the guys girlfriend threw it away. Something my SO absolutely swore to me would NOT happen.
This stuffed animal cant be found anywhere anymore and it was beside me through many traumatic hospital visits. But we got into an argument because I had the nerve to say this was gonna happen and want my stuffed animal back.
Words cannot adequately express the roil of emotion I feel right now. I am so enraged. About losing another treasured possession and because he didn't listen to me. I feel my opinion my desire was brushed aside, it didn't matter. And I am very hurt.

Reading

Today I have a mild headache. I also spent most of the day reading Spying in High Heels by Gemma Halliday. I really enjoyed it. Its about a shoe designer who gets thrust into a mystery when her boyfriend disappears.
I really need to take something for this headache but find myself reluctant to move from my warm, cozy spot.
Even when I read I feel like my brain is always at work, trying to figure out this or that. I have to run errands downtown tomorrow. I am seriously considering taking advantage of my time down there to print off a few things or maybe just sit somewhere quiet and type. There are several projects I would love to work on but my house seems to have become counter-productive to my muse.
Or maybe I'm just getting a severe case of the nerves over school starting Tuesday, bright and early.
Either way, its probably time for me to stop making excuses and start making my muses work for me again.
But for now...I think I will read another mystery...

Technology rocks!

I am loving the way smartphones make my life easier. For example now I can do blog posts via email. This is going to be so awesome for me once I am back in the swing of schooling and exercising and meetings...and especially if I have to add in a day job!
This seriously excites the geek in me.
I just love it when technology makes life easier. Now don't get me wrong, I am also one of those annoying people who can't remember phone numbers without my phone anymore. And that does suck. But I still love my technology!
I am going to start posting excerpts on my yahoo loop soon. One day a week. I haven't decided which day yet though. Maybe I will do the same here...

pet peeves

Two things that get under my skin the most are when people a) don't give you an answer and b) backhanded compliments.
I called a family member to ask for a favor. I said at the beginning, I understand if the answer is no, I really do, but please, just let me know because I need to know to make other arrangements.
But of course being my family, they seem to think if they don't let me know the situation will go away.
Really, how hard is it to be courteous and tell someone "I'm sorry, but I can't." This let's the person know that they need to make other arrangements. I guess I already knew the answer when they didn't call me back, but I was already pretty sure before I even called what the answer would be.
Even now, I feel like I'm being handed answers to pacify instead of just hearing "No, I don't think we can do that." I really hate that.
Which leads me to my other really big pet peeve. Backhanded compliments.
You know the kind. When someone looks at something you put time and effort into and instead of saying "wow, this is nice, thank you", instead you hear something like "Oh, I'm glad to see someone finally went ahead with that plan." Especially when it's followed up with what you did wrong.
Did it matter to this person that they were essentially tearing apart three hours of my hard work and time? Nope. I'd rather you didn't give me a compliment than smile in my face, emphasis what I did wrong and give me a not outright "f@#(< you". Hell, I'd appreciate it more if you just looked at me "f- you".
I don't understand why people think that these two actions are good. It seems to me that more than anything else they breed the resentment that the person issuing either seemed to be trying to avoid. I know I appreciate no more than a non response... A non response simply tells me that I don't even rate enough respect for you to call me back. Wow. So, why would I want to keep in touch with you? And a backhanded compliment just leaves me with my fist clenched and wondering why I subjected myself to that.
Please note that constructive criticism or criticism at all are not seen the same as a back handed compliment. The two are very different and easy to differentiate. It's like the popular girl at school who says "LOVE your outfit, it's so not like what you usually wear." These are things that make me want to look at people and give them my daughters "Guide to Manners" book.

so stressed

I  am so stressed it's not even funny. Though for those who have been keeping track it seems like my financial aid problems might be over, I still have so much to do before school starts on Tuesday!
Add to that the fact that a dear friend of my husband's is in the hospital and that I can't find anything I'm looking for at home and I'm ready to explode...
or maybe pop people's heads like they are pimples...
I know this is a sign that I need to take some time for myself, but that's so very hard to do when everyone else seems to need a piece of you and you don't ever seem to manage to get anything done.
I haven't gone on my walk yet today, and probably won't get around to it with everything else that I have to do, which makes me a little sad. But if I can get other stuff taken care of, I will be very grateful that those are a few less things that I have weighing me down.
The program I'm about to start has the heaviest load of books, oh yay. But it will benefit me (and I'm determined to be able to incorporate it into my writing somehow!) So, that won't be fun. But I am looking forward to once again being back in school and learning.

Characters

Today I watched the movie that came out a couple years ago: Little Red Riding Hood. She has always been one of my favorite characters. I even wrote my own variation of her years and years ago. Lately I have been thinking if I can find the story, perhaps I should dust it off and see about publishing it. I really liked the premise for it.
It's pretty amazing how you can take one simple idea and suddenly have five different versions of it simply because it was written by five people. I think that's fabulous.
Being true my latest tastes in reading, I have begun Sir Author Conan Doyle's Complete Works of Sherlock Holmes. I have to say, I love the BBC version of Sherlock Holmes, where they've set it in a completely modern era. I have often considered trying to write a mystery myself (well, other than my first completed novel kept safely away from any eyes, lol) but though I do love to read them, I'm not sure that would be my forte, and I must admit as a reader, I don't always like it when my favorite authors try to veer into a different genre...
As I did a short walk today (one of my doggies went with me and well, having a doggy when you are just going around a jogging path over and over again is a definite recipe for a short walk), I considered possibilities for one of my Club Strigoi Characters. Now, the idea is very new and budding so I won't go into many details. But it really is a good thing that I am at least thinking about that series again.
It is a sign that I feel at least a bit more relaxed that I am able to feel my stories budding in my brain again, the characters beginning to whisper before they full out start screaming at me.
This is good...

rambles

I'm not really sure what to write today. So many things run through my mind, but none of them condusive to me being very productive.
I'm thinking about all the projects I still have to work on, and still stressing over the school situation which is beyond my control. I'm worried that despite all my hard work I won't be able to go back to school next week, and I wonder if I'm trying to do too much.
I have school, writing, keeping up my home, walking, being active in my daughter's girl's group, trying to figure out what is going on with her at school - since the information I was given didn't give me access to her grades, etc like it was supposed to, then I am joining a groups next month... wow. That's a lot. That doesn't leave much time for me to be able to do my crochet or knitting projects, or gaming, or...well, much of anything. But if I want to change my situations, the only person who is going to fight for it is me, so, what other choice do I have?
I think I will leave off my rambling for now. But I will leave with one of the coolest phrases I read today -or in a while. It was posted by someone I follow on twitter and though I'm not posting the picture, the saying was:
Negative people need drams like it is oxygen.
Stay positive... and take their breath away.

a little about me

Okay, so I know this post is a bit overdue, but the last post I wrote about my muse and what locks me up creatively got me to thinking about interviews. In most interviews, you get the obvious question, what started you writing. So, I figured I'd go ahead and post that here for any who wanted to read it.

I've always dabbled at writing, for as long as I can remember. I remember earning award for Poetry when I was still in elementary school. Then in Middle school, well, to be honest, I became a little bit of a slacker -- especially on the subjects that I really wasn't interested in. I can still remember seeing the look of pure surprise on my 7th grade English teacher's face when I read one assignment aloud. She assigned us to each write the beginning of a story and we had to read it in front of the whole class.
Well, I wrote mine about a pre-teen girl who accidentally got bitten  one day as she walked through the halls when another student tripped and fell into her. She didn't think anything of it -- okay, it was weird all right, but you know, it's middle school, weird things happen especially if you aren't a popular kid. By the end of my beginning, she finds out she was bitten by a vampire, and now some of the traits were passed to her. (Honest, and this was waaaaaay before the Twilight sensation! Though my vampire didn't sparkle.)
My teacher just looked at me in shock. My beginning had everything. I'd set the tone, I established the characters, and I had a hook. Now you wanted to continue reading to figure out what happened to this poor girl who got bitten and "infected". She held me to higher expectations after that. Sometimes I lived up to them, sometimes I failed miserably, but she always looked at me differently after that. And, to my dismay, she told my other teachers that I was capable of the work, and good work!, but was being a slacker, lol.
I straightened up my 8th grade year, but that is another story, lol.
I left writing alone for a while. I tried to write a story several times because I had the preface stuck in my head. It was about a girl who was orphaned, and had to live with her Aunt, Uncle and cousins. But she wasn't just orphaned...she actually SAW the person who killed her parents, she saw it happen. She was young when they died, so, of course  she blocked most of it out. It was supposed to be a historical romance (since I was very into reading those, and back then I didn't know you could write contemporary romances). It took me a long time to write the story because, well, it's funny saying this now, but I blushed --badly!-- when I even wrote about my characters kissing!
That story was finally finished after my daughter was born. I allowed my mom and a friend to read it and since it has been safely hidden away (printed out and waiting-never to see the light of day). As soon as it was, it was as though the flood gates opened! I had all these ideas in my head, but no clue what to do with them. I stumbled on a Publisher's Message board (Romance at Heart) and was thrilled when they posted that they were going to have a writing contest. First through third place would get their story published. I never dreamed that I would win, but I hoped that by entering, I would be introduced to an editor, who would at least tell me what I was doing right and what I needed to work on.
Imagine my surprise when I actually placed to see my story published in the anthology.
From there, writing has been almost like an addiction. My friends and family can tell when I haven't had the chance to write, and though unfortunately sometimes it has to be put aside for a time, the stories haven't stopped. My characters get more demanding and I think you can see a serious tone difference between what I used to write and what I write now.
I don't think I will ever be able to truly give up writing...but from time to time life does force me to put it to the side. But even when that happens, I find myself opening files, looking at unfinished spreadsheets of characters or unfinished word doc and saying to myself, I need to get back to that. And when I do, and I can feel the words flowing through my fingertips....it's a feeling unlike any other.

long ramble

It's been a few days since I posted. I don't mean to be a bad blogger, but it was a little harder to do this while my kid was here. I love spending time with her and yesterday we were out of town from just after noon until after 11pm.
I have been good, I got my website updated (and simplified) but I still need to finish my books database. And I think after I post around online I'm going to go for my daily walk.
Financial aid has not been cooperating with me, and I will have to call them again tomorrow. It annoys me that they don't seem to understand that I can continue with school.
I'm not really feeling very organized here, but that usually happens when I have so much going on inside of my mind. Plus, to be honest, I'm not really sure what to post on this blog. I've been doing it, but do I keep it strictly business? Do I add bits of my personal life?
I got a message on Facebook from a lady who reads my books. I love getting emails or messages, or anything from readers. It usually makes my day a little brighter. I try to respond quickly, sometimes, it's a win and I can/do. Sometimes, epic fail when things slip through the cracks or get hijacked by the evil spam filter. But I do always try to respond.
I know many people say this, but it really is true that hearing one person say they enjoyed reading my book, it makes all the effort worth while. And I really hate having to say I'm still working on a book - especially when I've been saying that for so long.
It's really not code for anything but that I'm working on it. At least for me there are a few things that are involved when a book takes a long time to come out:
a)The characters have gotten mad at me for some error in the book and they don't want to talk to me until I figure it out. (I've seen this happen with something as simple as one of my characters wanted to sing a song but I missed it...)
b)Stress. Sorry to say it but sweating stuff in the everyday life (like health, kid, school, etc) can sometimes lock up my muse so tight, I gotta get multiple keys (and much Chamomile tea --- or English Toffee Coffee) to get her back out.
c) Fear. I worry that if I'm true to the story, there will be editors who turn down my book simply because it doesn't fit their style. And I know if I'm not true to the story, well, see a... This one is the most vicious of all the locks because it somehow manages to incorporate everything else.
Whew. Sometimes it's really scary being an author. But like I said before, hearing from readers really does make all my effort worth it.

Websites and Migraines

Today has been a load of good news/bad news for me.

The Good News? I was able to work a really pretty streamlined site that I think is a little more what I want.

The Bad News? It won't let me upload the pages I created to my existing site, instead wanting me to buy another domain so I can show off my work.

Websites are incredibly frustrating now. I'm becoming increasingly certain that I want to have mine completely redone -- by someone else!!!

On the bright side I managed to go walking again today, though I did fall a little short of my goal. But I walked more than I did yesterday, so that's a plus.

Now, I need to go see if hot water can help relieve some of the knots I have from sitting over a computer and trying to code something that...well, pretty much only served to show me what I think I want my website to look like.

New Year

I took a few days off from posting here. But today I tried to start getting things back to business. I didn't work on my book database like I originally intended. But I have updated several things. Tomorrow, I believe after my walk I will begin to work on my website. I'm not sure if I will begin with revamping and correcting as I go, or if I should just correct the pages that need to be fixed and then do a complete revamp...
Decisions, decisions...
I'm fighting a craving for sweet foods. Over the holidays I indulged a little too much and I need to fix that. One of my goals is to start walking between 4 and 5 miles everyday.
I will look for other options as well, but I will see about that as it comes up.
I hope everyone was safe on New Years. I'm looking forward to the upcoming Chinese New Year and the Year of the Snake...