Okay, it's really no surprise to those who know me that this is not my favorite holiday. I enjoy it okay, but I think it's gotten to be too commercialized. It's a holiday of high stress and too many people getting offended by small things and become entirely too based around "if you love me you will spend a lot of money on me".
I remember being that way when I was younger. Christmas was great -- but I only liked the gifts and the small break from school. Though I did think my childhood tree was beautiful with it's mixed and matched ornaments from old and new and antique and handmade items and the mixture of all color lights, I never liked any other part of it. I don't particularly care for Christmas music or movies or...well, any of it.
I've always been more of a Halloween girl.
As I sit here in this fast food place where I have taken mild refuge to write a little and ponder a few things to try to clear my head or organize ideas, I can't help but look around and be amazed. There's less than a week until Christmas, but looking around, I can't tell. It doesn't FEEL like Christmas is here. Is it because I've become so jaded in my older years, or is it because it feels like they try to start the "holiday cheer" earlier and earlier. There were Christmas items out before Halloween items this year! Maybe Christmas is really a child's holiday, magickal only for them...
I sit beside the messenger backpack that I've taken to using as a purse. It's time for me to go through it yet again and clean it out and rearrange things. Ironically most of what will come out will get put right back inside. I have to have my electronics with me for ease of being able to write, and my charger so that I can well, charge them. (I am ever so grateful that almost everything will accept the same charger cord so I don't have to have twenty cords with me...). Then there are my Tarot Cards (2 decks) that I try to always have on me, pens, lotions (personal and the one I don't mind sharing should anyone ask) and the normal stuff, a little makeup, wallet, extra batteries, calendar, etc. Whew. I think I carry too much stuff with me, but when I lay it all out, it all makes sense for me to carry around! So, what can I do?
I will have to mend my beloved bag again very soon, it's getting used so much it's getting holes, but it is certainly well loved!
My good intentions of making my Christmas Gifts has begun to diminish. I'm still stuck on the few that I have left to do and can't figure out why I haven't just gotten them done with. My to do list is growing ever so much longer and my commitments deeper, my schedule is filling up and here I sit, just trying to take it easy, taking a break and trying to collect my thoughts.
But at least with doing this, I am beginning to get ideas that I will need to begin working on immediately if I want to put those plans into action. And it's high time that I start beating some of my characters into submission so that I can continue to grow and work on new things. Maybe that's why it doesn't seem so magickal outside, because (at least for me) I have so much trapped inside that it's hard for me to see the beauty around me...
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